Sunday, October 4, 2020

teenage years

teenage years
Sunday, October 4, 2020
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When I think about my daughter I think about her at three wading in a kiddie pool a safe distance from me with blue green pouring out of her eyes from the sun

I don’t think about her snarl, her black liner and punked out hair The Clash mini skirt or the memories I shared she holds against me or buying fishnets off Amazon, telling me to go fuck myself

She, she.

Help I think daily some dark spirit coiled inside her when she was asleep and spawned a beast I have to feed with self-help book hymns and advice from her therapist

Whatever I say, it is the wrong thing.

I did not birth a monster because I remember how her eyes glowed when Waltzing Matilda played and how the car filled up with her laughter

I did not, I did not.

I demand an exorcism sometime before graduation, please.

In five years we will share tea and I will tell her stories she won’t store for blackmail later but today I will live with this snarl beside her pool of disdain drained of any sun or possibility.

- ep 10-4-2020

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