Kaya Sings Spongebob Squareparents *This Post Is For Grandparents Only*

Woman Wakes Up In Her Apartment With a Headache...You Won't Believe What Happens Next!

...she takes a Tylenol.

Seriously aren't Buzzfeed headlines the worst? But it's not just Buzzfeed anymore though, is it? All online media seems to be copying this "make it as ambiguous as possible so they'll wanna click" crap. I suppose it's great marketing. I just wish I didn't fall for it so much.

By the way, my memoir, This Sick Little Heart of Mine, is out. It's basically about me losing my shit, destroying my marriage, and catfishing my ex-lover, who, if you read the book, you'd know he isn't worth a crank call, much less creating a fake Facebook account and going through all the shit I had to go through to keep up the deception. My publisher subtitled it, "A Memoir of Love Gone Wrong," which I think isn't really the best way to describe it. Maybe for marketing purposes it is, but it's way more than that. It's more about looking at the world around you and thinking, "Wait a minute. This isn't me. How did I end up here?" and then proceeding to knock it all down in the worst way possible before finding atonement in ways you never saw coming. Forgiving others is a POS transaction. Forgiving yourself is a re-baptism.

My second book, You'll Never Interview In This Town Again, is about the utter fucking ridiculousness a person goes through when interviewing for software jobs in Austin. If you live in Austin and you're in the tech community, you should read it. You should also pass it around to people who don't live in Austin, so they'll be discouraged from moving here. I am self-publishing it, not because I couldn't find a publisher (I didn't try) but because the relevancy of the story makes it important to publish it immediately. Even after a publisher accepts your book, you're still waiting a year or more for it to come out in bookstores. I couldn't wait that long. But YNIITTA is a Kindle-book only because I don't have the benjamins to print hardcopies (But hey, if you're reading this and you're looking to invest, hit me up. I might have a sweet proposition for you.).

If you write a blog that more than ten people visit a day, or a Twitter account that hundreds of non-robots follow, or you're a journalist or wannabe journalist- if you think you have any influence over the human race and their reading decisions, email me and I will send you a copy of my book for free. With the condition, of course, that you promote it or review it, and that you don't stick it on piratebay. BTW follow me on FB if you like, or be a fan of my Goodreads page and I'll love you forever. The only people who follow me on Goodreads are other writers who are always trying to get me to read their shit. It's so annoying. (Yeah, I'm a hypocrite. So what?)

What else? Oh, London and I had a goofy photo shoot the other night. See pictures below. She is so hilarious and beautiful and wonderful and magical. I'm a lucky mom. It's amazing how much I love that child.

Oh yeah, one last thing, can you comment in the Comments section just to let me know that someone is reading this? Even just a "hey" will do. I've been angry at myself lately for not writing more on my blog. But if there's no one listening, then maybe I'll just keep it limited to posting cool quotes I find on Pinterest.

Go Ahead and Write a Review of TSLHOM

Why I Hate Football And Other Half-Formulated Thoughts

This blog isn't what I wanted to it to be. I want to write more. Less pictures, more words. But  every minute of my day is spent writing in other places, hence my blog gets short-changed.

I started these little half-developed posts that I can't seem to finish, and I thought I might as well post them since I know I'm never going to finish them. Because I've gotten to the age where I can no longer convince myself that I have any self-discipline whatsoever. So here they are.

Oh btw before you start reading, did you know This Sick Little Heart of Mine is coming out in a few weeks? It's really good. I mean, really fucking good. And I hate everything I've ever written, so if I tell you it's good, trust me, honey. It's good. The photo above is of "Tori" and me. If you've read Sick Little Heart, the name will ring a bell, right? She doesn't really care if you know who she is. She's sort of pissed I changed her name in the book. But you know, legal concerns.

Okay back to the snippets...

Pre-Order This Sick Little Heart of Mine!

It's out, people...or at least, it's almost out. Click here and pre-order what critics are calling the best book of the new year!

The Upside of Anger

I love this quote. It was stuck to me while I was writing TSLHOM. It's sort of become its banner, the mantra of the pages found underneath.

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