Sunday, August 9, 2020

Quarantine Haikus






The Cat

Doug, the cat wants out
Yes I know he just came in
But now he wants out

Morning

Doug, you woke up late
I drank three cups of green tea
Let the cat out, thanks.

Afternoon

The meeting drags on
The cat howls by the door
Stop talking, everyone

Evening

Where is the remote?
Can’t you keep it in one place?
Look under the cat

We’ve Run Out of Toilet Paper

The roll is empty
How much do you people shit?
Replace it next time.

Texas

Delayed reaction
Cost your peoples’ live thousands
But you repeat it

Election

Home of the disease
Land of the sick and dying
Small hands man will win

The Cat Part II

Charlotte sleeps in chair
Another borrowed day borrowed
I love you, don’t go

Armadillos

Ripping up my yard
Stop digging holes you fuckers
Prehistoric dicks

Raccoons

Big weary mother
Leads greedy fur balls to feed
I know that look well

Possums

Stripes around his eyes
Looks like eyeliner, we call
Him Ziggy Stardust

Blue Jays

Get out of my yard
Crackling and shitting in trees
Feathered gremlin dicks

Stereo System

I am sorry babe
I am such a selfish jerk
Keep your stereo

Teens

They sleep until noon
Wake up hungry for Starbucks
We have food at home


- EP, 8-9-2020
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