Thursday, December 19, 2019

For Eli

Low Angle View of Man Standing at Night

Eli you would have been proud of me
Today I slayed a dragon
She lied to me so I swallowed her whole.

I probably won’t have a job come Friday,
but boy it felt good to sink the beast
before it fired and released on the people I love the most

Essentially, I saved my team

You were on my team once

I wish I could have saved you too

I wish my Spider-Man sense
Had sensed you hovering over the chair
wrapping a noose around your neck
before you jumped,
before the art stopped
and the music dried up,
and the strokes of color you brushed across the sky
were erased from the world forever

My mysterious friend,

Before you hated me
Before you betrayed me,

We played a trick upon the stars
We spoke in code and god only knows
What signals were crossed
And before I knew it you were gone

Jen B. told me through a screenshot
Jen N. and I thought it was a hoax
That’s just Eli being Eli
Digging her own escape through the barricade
of holiday facades and family gatherings,
hibernating until the bells ceased ringing
and the registers stopped dinging
and the carolers had run out of songs.

I must have called every YMCA
in Seattle. Me with the office door closed
the Ravenettes muted, nibbling on a Kit Kat
a co-worker had left on my desk with a card
merry christmas and voices of Northwestern women
interrogating my reasons and me saying, it's fine,
you have the right to be suspicious,
but I promise you,
I'm her friend.

Some friend I am.

now forever your death will taste like stale chocolate wafers
and the aftertaste of devouring a monster. 

Cheers Eli I gotta go
Gotta clean up my resume
By the way they’re protesting in Delhi
And the big bad orange has become a peach
In the house at least
But we all know how it will go
In the senate.

it's okay it's progress and you're a thousand lives ahead
I'm applying to a job in Budapest
and you're delivering your nightmares a bowl of ice cream
finally, some peace for the peaceless weary-eyed princess

see Eli monsters aren't as scary as we think.

EP 12-19




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