You'll Never Interview In This Town Again
Friday, July 25, 2014
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Austin’s 5th Best Place to Work
It was a playground, not an office. It was
several large open rooms of ping pong tables and old arcade games. Basketball
hoops hanging over doors. Lawn chairs spread out along carpet green and crisp
to mimic golf turf. Multi-colored walls tricked out with collages of photos
from company events: flag football and water balloon fights, Margarita Monday
and someone named Roger’s 30th birthday party, which was
pirate-themed. Booze and bikinis and blinding white teeth and ironically-thrown
gang signs galore.
The Greek chorus in my head began singing
their disapproval the moment I walked through the North Austin glass doors of
“Austin’s 5th Best Place to Work.” I tried to ignore them and be
objective. This place was not awful; it’s
only awful for you. For a recent college graduate without a family or
attention deficit disorder, it might have been heaven. But I was a 35-year-old
mom of two who downed Adderhol every morning just to remember to throw on
underwear before leaving the house. I was getting older and becoming more and
more anti-social and I didn’t fancy my work place to resemble Pee Wee's Playhouse.
“At Volmano, we work hard but we play hard
too,” I heard from behind me. The reciter of the cheesy, generic slogan all
Austin software companies seemed to favor was Stacey, the HR rep I’d been email
tangoing with since I first started jockeying for a career opportunity there.
Petite, young, blonde, she had the sort of overwhelming enthusiasm reminiscent
of actors on Disney cruises. She skipped past an assortment of hula hoops and
pointed to a door next to a sign reading, Cupcakes
Tomorrow!!! Yum, Yum!
“This is the Never-Ending-Gobstopper room,”
she explained. “Across the way is the flamenco bar. Free yoga in the
afternoons! Oh, and we have ‘Bring Your Dog to Work Day’ on Tuesday. ‘Come to
Work in Your Jammies Day’ on Wednesday. We have Beer Fridays too.”
“Is it on Fridays?” I joked.
